You’ve Been Ghosted

A while back I had a meeting with a guy in my field that seemed like the answer to my job-and-future-seeking prayers. He’s the leader of a major arts institution, someone I’d been friendly with and interviewed several times as a longtime cultural writer at the Miami Herald. When I wrote him to say I’d been laid off, would be in his new city for a teaching gig, and could he get together, his assistant got in touch right away. In his office, he bubbled with enthusiasm and interest for over an hour, offering to have me teach a workshop at his organization, introduce me to major institutions and people, telling me how significant my skills and history and talent were.

I practically skipped out of the building. As much as the prospect of a money-making gig and introductions to powerful people and places, I was buoyed by his warmth and sympathy, the feeling that this successful man thought I was valuable and wanted to help. The subject line of my thank you email was “best meeting ever.”

And then, nothing.

I waited a month or so, and wrote again. Nada. Waited, thinking that a third email would be too pushy, but finally wrote again — if he wasn’t answering anyways, what did I have to lose? Nothing, apparently — no response.

The incident kept bobbing up in my mind for months, far more than it should have. I got weirdly paranoid. Had someone…